NEWSLETTER | WOMEN IN MOTION
Who needs a Runway? Take Off from where you are!
Most of the best life gurus and business coaches in the world always advise that whatever it is one wants
to achieve, the best time to ‘go for it’ is now. These enlightened tutors say that living and acting in the
moment are what brings success, because success is a journey, not a destination. And, therefore, the
departure point is here and now.
Indeed, most people spend a lifetime without achieving their goals, goals they yearn so much for. This is because these individuals spend their lives ‘waiting’ for the right place and the right time. Little do they realise that there is no such thing as ‘later’. Alfred D’Souza, fondly referred to as ‘Father Alfred’, once said: “For a long time it seemed to me that life was about to begin – real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.”
by Nomia Machebe
Kagiso Msimango, author of The Goddess Bootcamp and the first woman in Africa to become a certified Imagine a Woman (IAW) International facilitator and coach, agrees that people indeed have a tendency to procrastinate when it comes to achieving their personal and life goals. Kagiso says that the reason individuals procrastinate when it comes to achieving their goals is that they are afraid. “Procrastination is an indicator of fear. Whenever one finds oneself putting something off, one must ask, ‘What am I afraid of?’,” she shares.
Kagiso suggests visualisation as a solution for dealing with fear. “Personally, whenever I get the ‘fear feeling’, I think of the worst-case scenario. I then realise that, if I can survive the worst, I will survive the current challenge. I then gather the courage to ‘go for it’. Generally, the more I see my dream visually, and become more attracted and aligned to it, the more likely I am to ‘go for it’ despite the fear,” she says.
Kagiso states that she does not have a role model, because not only does she think the ‘role model’ approach can be deceiving, but she also realises that no one is perfect – so, copying another person’s actions defeats the purpose of achieving one’s own higher purpose. This does not mean that this vivacious and focused woman does not observe and learn from other people. She admits that there are certain qualities and behaviours she admires in certain people, qualities she looks for whenever she needs to invoke a particular characteristic. “I know no one who is amazing at everything. I think it is too much to lay on any one person’s shoulders,” she honestly points out.
Less than a year after she published her first book, Kagiso’s next goal is “to create a life where at least 90% of what I do every day is done because I want to, not because I think I have to. I am at a stage where freedom is a priority – and it is an urgent priority,” she says assertively.
Kagiso, a woman who is influential in her circles, reveals that the only way to conquer fear is to do the thing that scares one the most, and then come out on the other side realising that it was actually not so ‘scary’. Sometimes, one can conquer fear through a single action, for example by deciding to parachute from a plane to deal with a fear of heights, but, often, these things are a process rather than an event.
When asked what her worst fear is, Kagiso thinks deeply before responding: “I have no idea – deep grief and despair, I suppose. These, of course, can be caused by all sorts of things. For example, if my child died, I would certainly feel like that, so I could say that my child’s death is my greatest fear – but that would be inaccurate; the fear is of the resultant emotion. So, what I am really scared of, therefore, is experiencing emotional pain that I am helpless to alleviate.”
This mother of a four-year-old girl – who, like Kagiso, is buoyant – is a natural go-getter and hardly puts off anything that she dreams of. Matriculating at the age of 15 with a distinction in Mathematics was just the beginning of a series of achievements. At 20, she bought herself a car, and, by her mid-20s, she was a proud homeowner and the youngest-ever marketing manager of the biggest commercial radio station in the country. Today, she proudly has a book on the shelves of Exclusive Books. To Kagiso, all these achievements are actually nothing compared with the fire that burns inside and propels her to keep nurturing her ability to do what it takes, no matter how uncomfortable or scary it may be, to keep reaching for her dreams.
In closing, Kagiso emphasises that to achieve one’s dreams requires nothing more than a sense of determination. She states that before she sets a goal, she asks herself ‘Why?’, and if the why resonates strongly, it becomes easy to get started.
At the moment, apart from giving advice to women in particular and running self-empowerment workshops, Kagiso, who recently left her high-paying job at a media company to find her life purpose, openly shares that she “is in between lives”. She goes on to state that, although this space is frightening, it is also exciting. “I am no longer the high-powered executive, but I have not yet defined who I choose to become next. But, whatever it takes, I will achieve it.”
So, just as Father Alfred wisely said, Kagiso concurs that perhaps the way to approach life is to “dance like nobody is watching, love like you have never been hurt, sing like no one is listening, work like you do not need the money, and live life every day as if it were your last”. And to do all of these – right now!